Happy Enough to Move by Faith

Psalm 1:3 (CEB): They are like a tree replanted by streams of water, which bears fruit at just the right time and whose leaves don't fade. Whatever they do succeeds.

The text speaks of a tree. Not a seed or bud or some small stem of potential. A tree. Something that has grown, had a life wherever it was before, and by intentional action is now planted somewhere new. Could the tree have stayed where it was before? Could it have found itself content in the place where it first grew and dug deep enough to grow to tree status and state? Maybe. But, it sounds to me like the move was for the purpose of becoming more of itself, more than what it could have been where it started. This tree, replanted, also thus did not then find itself making a latteral move. What good would have come from that anyway? To be planted into conditions not better than before, a place not offering what it would need to produce more of itself than the last.

But, how would the tree know that this new spot would be it before digging in the roots, before receiving the nutrients which would only travel by a slow consistent process of investment? How would the tree know to trust that reaching deeper in this new place would work, in full faith that here growth will happen, leaves will grow green, and one day fruit will show and others will recognize that this spot is the right spot?

I don't think this knowing is easily explained. There is such a distance of time in the middle of moves done by fatih, when the discomfort of uprooting exposes the roots and when the fruit of faith-filled living becomes present and ripe. By measures of any looking on from the outside it is more likely that they would question such uprooting and replanting from the very start. They would see potential moves to groves where others are already growing. "See that fruit there that they have? See how that spot just opened up? You would fit there perfectly given all that you are right now. What a great opportunity." But, others don't recognize the gift of the streams of water, the less traveled area, the spot of divine design and exactly what this tree needs. Yet, I'm confident that the tree recognizes the new thing, the moment the winds of the Spirit and the provision of the earth offer their wisdom and touch upon the deep knowing within the tree and it's roots in the moment that they connected to something more as never known before. Suddenly, or gradually, and so subtley, the past place proves to no longer be enough. There is more in the world and the tree now knows it. There is no being content with what was nor anthing like it. This tree now wants for the more that there is to life.

I imagine how the story of the scripture would go if that tree was not set among streams of water with patience and peace, at least not long enough to show others what it knows. What if it didn't move at all and settled for digging in deeper where it was, fighting to find the small tendrills of connection to that far off stream, splitting its attention just enough to live a little into that hope, knowing that it could grow more somewhere closer to that source, but letting go day after day and doing it's best to get whatever water it can while staying put in it's original location, this spot that is to the tree no longer ideal, no longer able to satisfy the hope alive within.

I want to be like a tree replanted, succeeding and thriving, long before others may be able to see and recognize the new hope begging for nourishment inside of me. I want to live and be happy. I believe God wantes this for me too.

When I first began to write these words, I was not happy. I needed to replant. I believed I knew where and what it looked like to seek happiness. So, I leaned in, sought out connections beyond my closes love ones and circles in order to get closers, to see what it would take to make a move. Such a decision did not come easily. In fact, I grew deeply saddened at the thought that some who I wanted to dearly to be part of the next steps were not ready and couldn't see what I saw. What I know, is that this knowing may change, but that change may not come until I am bearing fruit. But, why should I expect more? Jesus had his closest disciples who couldn't believe he was risen from the dead until they saw and were proven to that it truly was him. Big moves, transformative moves, are never easy to swallow moves.

Uprooting without proof, with a plan that may at most have a foundation rooted in the mystery of faith that can't be seen is like the period of being up in the air. It feels farther and farther from comfort and safety the longer the distance that must be traveled to get from the original spot on the way to the new spot. On top of this is the time it takes to settle in to the decision, dig deep, committ, and eventually begin to show in just the right time and season new green leaves and srpouts of new branches. And still, oh how much easier it is to see all that can be seen from the outside and to say it is not enough, it was not worth stepping away from a sure thing that "looked" like it would check all of the needs and wants boxes.

Still, knowing what I could lose, the risks and vulnerability in walking by faith, when in the rumble of unknowing I imagine and wonder "Will this choice be worth it?"